apropos of nothing

I wanted to be sure you heard the news as soon as I did about Britney, because I know you're all concerned. In unrelated bizarre news, it seems that belly rings can be hazardous if you are involved in an auto accident. You may now return to your previously scheduled day.

I see we were slumming in the news reporting yesterday, first britney and belly rings, then CNN. Did you make sure you took a shower afterwards?

...and burned the clothes I was wearing. Yes.

Hey, I know I've been off my game for a few weeks, but I **thought** the serious news was my realm. Though, I can see it now... Michigan man in bizarre, cult-like ritual caught in naked fire dance. Sources close to the man cite Spears at the center.

I think if you ever tire of your day job, you should consider a writing position with a tabloid. That was a beautiful headline!